I recently grabbed lunch with a long-time friend. We haven’t been able to catch-up lately because we’ve both been swamped. However, while I’ve been working non-stop on growing my business, he’s been filling his schedule with other people’s priorities.

For example, his boss has asked him to work a ton of overtime as of late, which he always accepts. He also told me that he’s had to help a friend move recently as well. There were some other minor examples, but I think you get the point. Whenever someone asks for his time, he doesn’t say “no.”

I don’t think anyone enjoys saying “no” to others. I know that I was guilty of this for years. In facgt, I would delay my own work or interests if someone asked me to help them out on a project or join them for a meal. Eventually, I felt that some people were taking advantage of this. And, more importantly, I was addressing my needs, like staying on top of work or pursuing hobbies.

What changed was coming across this quote from Derek Sivers, “If you’re not saying “HELL YEAH!” about something, say ‘no.’” Sivers goes on to say, “When deciding whether to do something if you feel anything less than ‘Wow! That would be amazing! Absolutely! Hell yeah!’ — then say ‘no.’”

Since then, I’ve been more selective on saying “yes.” It’s taken some time. But, I now feel confident enough to turn down requests for my time if it’s something that isn’t interesting, helping me grow, or that I have the time for.

If this is an area that you need to improve upon, then let’s explain why you should say “no” more often. And, more importantly, how you can do so without ticking anyone off.

Why You Need to Say “No” More Often

The method of saying no can vary from person to person. But, saying “no” will actually make you more successful and productive. Warren Buffett has famously said, “The difference between successful people and successful people, is that successful people say “no” to almost everything.” And it’s easy to see why.

When you accept time requests, you’re getting taken away from more important things. For example, you would love to help a friend launch their new business or attend their party on Friday night. But, if you haven’t tackled all of your priorities, then we’re putting them ahead of yourself.

I know that sounds selfish. But it’s not. If you’re now filling-up your calendar with other people’s priorities, then you’re aren’t able to say “yes” to the essential things, such as spending time with your family, learning a new skill, or improving a business idea. What’s more, this adds more stress to your life. And, it prevents you from getting the proper amount of rest and recovery you need.

Still not convinced? Here’s another reason, saying “yes” to everything can make you unreliable. You may begin to disappoint others. The reason is pretty apparent. When you stretch yourself too thin, you’ll end-up missing deadlines or not being able to follow through with your promises. Some have said that saying “no” is the new “yes” for entrepreneurs.

Finally, when say “no” more often we have more focus. That’s because we’re not getting distracted or interrupted by other people’s priorities or requests for your time.

How to Say No to Others Without Offending Them

Even though saying “no” is beneficial, it can still be awkward to decline a request from someone else. After all, you don’t want to upset a friend, family member, or business partner. But, as explained in The New York Times, research from Columbia University found that our perceptions of our own assertiveness are often unreliable. In mock negotiations, people who thought they were adequately assertive or even over-assertive were seen by others as under-assertive.”

What does that mean? Even “if you feel confrontational, there’s a good chance the other party doesn’t see you that way,” explains Wong.

Of course, that doesn’t make it any easier. But, you can use the following techniques to finally decline any request without feeling guilty and making others angry.

Start small.

As Kristen Wong writes in The New York Times article cited above, you can start by practicing “being more aggressive when the stakes are low. For example, when a cashier asks you to sign up for a store credit card you don’t want,” say “‘I don’t use store credit cards’ instead of a passive ‘Not today, but thank you,’ which implies your decision is up for debate.”

“It’s a lot easier to be assertive with a stranger selling you something than it is when, say, your pleading co-worker asks for a ride to the airport,” adds Wong. “Get comfortable with your assertiveness when it’s easy so you’ll be prepared when there’s more pressure.”

Just say it.

Merely being straightforward may take some getting used to. But, there’s no need to beat around the bush. Remember, if you weren’t saying, “Hell yeah,” then just say “no.” It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that. Here are seven more ways to say “no” without sounding like a jerk. 

Explain why– briefly.

“Depending on the nature of your relationship, you may want to explain why you’re saying no,” writes Alexandra Franzen on The Muse. “But don’t over-explain or give your entire life story. That’s not necessary.”

Let’s say that a client or friend asks you to meet for dinner on Thursday night, but you already have plans. Just be honest and tell them that.

“In some instances, no explanation is required,” continues Franzen. “But for close friends, it can often be a nice touch. If you’re concise and honest, friends will (almost) always understand.”

Offer an alternative.

Sometimes turning down a request isn’t finite. For example, an employee would like your assistance on a task that they can’t wrap their heads around. You’re swamped today. But, you’re free on Friday afternoon. Can they wait until then? If so, the problem is resolved.

Another example would be recommending that they turn to another source. For instance, could your business partner or another employee help out the team member with the problem? If they can, then that person is still getting help without you directly getting involved.

Have a “policy.”

Take a moment and establish boundaries by implementing a “policy.” Clearly understanding your limits makes your decision to reject a request much more straightforward.

Standing by what you know to be your limits is a tactic suggested by Patti Breitman in How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty. For example, “suppose a friend asks for a loan you don’t want to extend. Utter the phrase ‘Sorry, I have a policy about not lending money,’ and your refusal immediately sounds less personal.”

According to Breitman, by “invoking a policy adds weight and seriousness when you need to say no. It implies that you’ve given the matter considerable thought on a previous occasion and learned from experience that what the person is requesting is unwise.”

“It can also convey that you’ve got a prior commitment you can’t break,” says Breitman. “When you turn down an invitation by saying, ‘Sorry, I can’t come—it’s our policy to have dinner together as a family every Friday night,’ it lets the other person know that your family ritual is carved in stone.”

“Let me think about it.”

“This is a polite and professional way of asking for more time to consider the request, writes Stephanie Gonzaga on Team Gantt. “As a busy leader, you often need to think things through before making any decisions.”

Make it clear you’re saying “no” to the request, not to the person.

Here’s a script from Karen Young over on Hey Sigmund, “I’d really love to help you but I can’t. I’m strapped this week. Let me know next time you need a hand though, and I’ll help out if I can.”

Another option could be “I’d love to help you out, but I’ve already committed to … Let me know next time you need a hand.” Again, be transparent, but don’t overexplain it. “You don’t owe anybody an explanation but for the person asking, hearing something after ‘no’ tends to feel less jarring than a straight-out ‘no’”

Begin to understand the power of saying, “no.” You are made by the people you say, “no” to.

Improve your self-esteem.

“If you don’t value yourself, then you won’t value your time very much either,” explains Henrik Edberg in The Positivity Blog.

“The most powerful thing I have found – besides keeping my attention consistently on what truly matters to me – to make it easier to say no was to improve my own self-esteem,” adds Edberg. “With better self-esteem, the time and the energy I have has become a lot more valuable to me, and I do not want to waste it.”

In a perfect world, your workplace and business operations wouldn’t just be effective. They would also run smoothly and drama free. Unfortunately, in the real world, this doesn’t happen. There are always hurdles to overcome, such as unavoidable conflicts.

To be fair, conflict isn’t always the worst thing that could happen at work. For example, having different opinions on where your business should pivot could spark innovation and inspire change. However, these disagreements often don’t boil over into heated conflicts since they can be resolved. But, what about those lingering and unresolved issues?

When ignored, workplace conflicts can be disastrous. For starters, they can decrease productivity and morale. In turn, this creates a toxic environment full of stressed, unhappy, and disengaged employees. Eventually, they may have no choice but to leave your company.

As if that weren’t enough, there could be physical confrontations. And, while not as severe, these squabbles can also pull you away from your priorities. In fact, it’s been found that the typical manager spends around 25-40 percent of their time addressing workplace conflicts.

If you don’t want workplace conflicts to interfere with your business operations, then you first need to know what the most common clashes are. From there, you can handle them before they do any serious harm.

Toxic leadership.

As a leader, everything starts and ends with you. That means if you possess toxic leadership traits, you and your team will butt-heads. Now, this doesn’t mean having a different leadership style that doesn’t always gel with your team. For example, if you’re more laid back, and an employee is someone who needs more structure, then this could be a little problematic.

While you should work on improving these differences, that’s minor compared to the following traits:

• Micromanagement
• Absenteeism
• Inflexibility
• Rivalry
• Perfectionism
• Self-interest
• Working 24/7

These need to be avoided at all costs in order to cultivate a positive and productive work environment. You may not realize that you possess these traits. If that’s the case, then solicit feedback from your partners or employees so that you can improve these unhealthy characteristics.

Interdependency.

Rarely do we work 100% alone. Even if you are an independent freelancer you still have to wait for your clients to give you information like the scope of the job, deadlines, and expectations. In most companies, we have to cooperate with others to complete our own work. For example, let’s say that you want to start a company blog. You can’t publish content until your in-house developer or designer has the site up and running.

Of course, when that individual is procrastinating it’s easy to get frustrated with them. Sometimes that’s not completely their fault — maybe they had to deal with another emergency. But, if they have a reputation for holding other people up, then that can blow up into a full-fledged battle. Everyone should have deadlines and meet them so that they’re not holding anyone back. You may want to use project management software and real-time collaboration tools like Dropbox and Slack so that everyone can track each other’s progress.

Disregard for company policies and procedures.

No matter how talented someone is, there are not above the company policies and procedures. Examples include dress codes, attendance, and behaviors like bullying or harassment. Just imagine if an employee doesn’t adhere to these. That’s definitely going to ruffle some feathers among the rest of the team.

Everyone must place the same rules. No expectations. It’s the easiest way to squash this conflict.

Personality clashes.

This could be the most common type of workplace conflict. After all, each organization contains a diverse and unique set of individuals who have various personalities. Often times, this isn’t too concerning. But, there are situations when this could lead to misunderstandings and bickering.

For example, if an employee is an introvert, they may come across cold, impolite, or high and mighty. Even if they have no problems with the rest of the team, this person prefers to work alone. However, the rest of the team may have a problem with this — which could hinder collaboration and teamwork.

If colleagues don’t get along personally, then don’t force them to work together. They may even have to work different schedules or locations to avoid any disagreements.

Poor communication.

Communication skills are a must-have for everyone within the workplace from the top down. It’s the only way to prevent misunderstandings and potential conflicts. Just think how ticked off you would be if arrived at work and your boss told you that you have to redo your work because it didn’t meet their expectations. If they were clear from the get-go, then this wouldn’t be anything major.

Everyone should be encouraged to improve their communication skills. And, here are a couple of places to start:

• Practicing active listening.
• Truly understanding your audience.
• Learning more about nonverbal cues like body language.
• Not relying too heavily on visual aids.
• Asking for feedback.
• Recording and listening to how you speak and present.
• Try team-building activities.

Availability of resources.

Let’s say that you have a small business. Because of its size, you probably only have one printer and copy machine. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. But, you and your team are wrapping up a project and everyone needs to print their reports.

Obviously, there’s a logjam at the printer and copier because of this. And, guess what? Jim is printing something else that has nothing to do with the report. You can bet there’s going to be some friction over this.

While you can’t anticipate each and every problem, you need to do your best to make sure that the available resources are there when needed. In this case, you may want to have a sign-in sheet and limit the amount of printing for each employee so that there aren’t any fisticuffs.

Diversity.

Diversity in the workplace is highly recommended. It’s a great way to inject fresh ideas and perspectives into the business. But, sometimes, when there is a group made-up of various ages, backgrounds, ethnicities, and experiences it’s natural for disagreements to arise.

It wouldn’t be a bad idea to install team building activities and let everyone be transparent about their differences. Also, make sure that you nip any insensitive comments in the bud immediately. And, most importantly, set the right example by treating everyone the same.

Blame shifting.

Everyone within a business needs to be held accountable for their actions. But, there’s always that one person who never owns up to their mistakes. Instead, they point fingers at everyone else.

Clearly, this is easy to understand why this could result in larger problems. No one wants to be blamed for the shortcomings of others.

Work styles.

Everyone has their own way of working. The problem is that when collaborating, these different work styles may not fight well together. As a consequence, there will be some bad blood among your team — especially when some people are more competitive or seen as lazy.

Kathi Elster, an executive coach and the co-author of Mean Girls at Work, Working with You Is Killing Me, and Working for You Isn’t Working for Me, tells Monster.com that it’s normal to have competition at work. In fact, it’s actually an opportunity to learn others.

On the other hand, working with a lazy coworker isn’t as beneficial. “The graceful way of dealing with this is to not overcompensate for the lazy co-worker,” Elster says. “In other words do not do their job or let it be seen that he/she did not do their work,” she says. “If you do choose to do the other person’s work, no one else will know, and you will grow resentful.”

What’s more, get to know your team so that you can pair people up based on their personality and work styles.

Perceptions.

It’s also normal for people to feel as if they are being treated unfairly. For instance, they may believe that a colleague receives too much recognition or unearned promotions. Sometimes this isn’t 100% in your hands. But, you can reduce these feelings by treating each and every team member exactly the same.

Mistrust.

Regardless of the differences between people, if everyone respects and trusts each other, it can help lessen possible conflicts. For example, when working together on a project, you and your partner may have completely different work styles. You may even work faster than they do. But, you trust them enough to know that they will deliver quality work before the deadline.

Conflicting goals and deadlines.

It’s not unusual for individual and department goals and deadlines to clash with each other. However, you don’t want that to spoil over into something much bigger. The easiest solution is to align everyone’s goals towards the big picture — also make sure that they are achievable and SMART. And, if possible, set realistic deadlines. It may take some work up front on your end, but it will keep the rest of the team on the same page.

Being disrespectful of others time.

One final common workplace conflict is when people aren’t respectful of each other’s time. Examples include:

• Chatty coworkers when you’re trying to work.
• Arriving late to work or a meeting.
• Scheduling unnecessary meetings for the entire.

Possible solutions could be:

• Closing your office door or politely asking the talkative person to come back during your break.
• Always making sure that you arrive early to meetings so that your team will your example.
• Only scheduling productive meetings where only key stakeholders are invited.

Handling Workplace Conflicts

If you’re still concerned about possible workplace conflicts, then are some preventive measures that you should take:

• Create clearly defined job descriptions so that potential employees are aware of their responsibilities. When they’re a part of your company, this will also let them know what’s expected of them.
• Have guidelines on what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. Make sure that you’re consistent and that you never tolerate unacceptable behavior. Employees should also know the consequences of their actions.
• Treat everyone fairly and do not play favorites.
• Before making a final decision, always listen to both sides of the story to get to the root of the problem.
• Create and maintain a healthy and positive work environment where everyone feels safe.
• Know which battles are worth fighting for and when it’s time to move on. For instance, you may have to let a talented employee go because they continue to bully their colleagues.

The final piece of advice would be to take a conflict management class or work with a mentor who has past experience in this area. It may take time out of your schedule. But, it will be time well spent.

You just launched a business. It’s exciting, exhilarating, and nerve-racking all-at-once. I would even go so far as to say that it’s one of the most exceptional experiences in your life. Can you maintain those feeling day-in-and-out? Well, no, but here’s how the smartest entrepreneurs keep from losing momentum.

Entrepreneurs Keep From Losing Momentum

Between setbacks and doing the same tasks over-and-over again, you can eventually lose that momentum. The good news? It’s not gone forever if you do the following to keep that momentum going.

“Why?”

Your alarm goes off at 5:15 am. Maybe the weather isn’t pleasant. You’re not feeling 100 percent. Your startup has had better weeks. What’s driving you to get-out-of-bed and tackle the day head-on? If you answered “money,” then it may be time to reevaluate whether or not you have it in you to continue the entrepreneurial journey.

There are many reasons why we start our own businesses, like being your own boss. Yes, money does a play role. However, successful entrepreneurs should always ask “why?” Try to be clear on your why — it helps.

Why did you start your business? Why do you wake up before everyone else every morning? Why do you keep forging ahead when everything seems to be going wrong? The answer? You know your purpose.

Take a moment and discover your own “why” whenever you feel like you’ve gone off track. If you need help getting back on track, ask the following questions:

• What makes you feel alive?
• What are your natural strengths?
• Where can you add the most value?
• What are your core values?

The answers help entrepreneurs keep from losing momentum.

In the words of the German philosopher Frederick Nietzsche, “He who has a why can endure any, ‘how.’”

Some say, “set the bar low.”

Think about all of the advice you’ve been given or have read. I bet one of the most common has been that you dream big and shoot for the stars. While there’s some truth to that, sometimes you have to set the bar lower, or at least think in different terms. The goal is to get there — not demoralize yourself.

If you say that you’re going to lose 50 pounds, there’s an excellent chance that you won’t achieve that goal because the ambition is stated in those terms. Instead, you’ll follow-through if you commit to doing five minutes of cardio and five pushups a day.

According to Stanford University researcher B.J. Fogg, that’s because if you want to develop a lifelong habit, it’s more effective to start with small and simple adjustments. As we begin successfully making progress, we’re more driven and confident of keeping going.

As Steve Jobs once said, “That’s been one of my mantras — focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.”

Celebrate success.

At the same time, making progress in small ways don’t always make it appear like we’ve established that much of a difference. It may not seem entrepreneurs keep from losing momentum by using this technique. There are times when it looks like we’ve hardly made a dent. But research from Harvard University shows that recognizing these small wins is the key to productivity and happiness.

To get started, first identify the wins you want to celebrate. Typically, this is by identifying measurable “wins” that are aligned by your core values — for example, earning a specific amount of five-star reviews on Yelp because of your outstanding customer service. If so, then reward your team with a pizza party or night-out-on-the-town.

I like to review positive customer feedback and share it with my team. It’s a simple but powerful way to show that our hard work is recognized and appreciated.

Keep the body going.

You’ve probably heard this a million times. You need to make your health a priority. But, there are several excellent reasons why you should exercise every morning:

• Gives you more energy, stamina, and endurance to power through the day.
• Boosts your immune system.
• Puts you in a better mood.
• Relieves stress.
• Sharpens your cognition.

Besides exercising, don’t forget to eat a well-balanced diet. It’s pretty challenging to be productive when you’ve just consumed a triple-bacon cheeseburger with fries and shake for lunch. Instead, eat foods that boost your energy and focus, such as almonds, salmon, kale, and eggs.

And, make sure that you get six to eight hours of quality of sleep each night. You can’t keep the momentum going when you’re yawning all day.

Keep a “did it list.”

Calendaring you to-do-lists come in-handy. But, research has found that seeing your progress and how much you’ve accomplished will inspire you to keep pushing forward. That’s why you should start creating a “did it list,” or at least have a place you can check tasks off.

With a “did list” you’re not only able to view your accomplishments, but they can also be used to review and reflect on your year when you are establishing your new goals.

Build a great team.

Paul Allen wrote in an article titled Microsoft’s Odd Couple that, “Bill never wanted to lose talented people. ‘If this guy leaves,’ he’d say to me, ‘we’ll lose all our momentum.’”

Put your ego aside for a moment and realize that you can not succeed alone — no matter how intelligent or talents you are. You need to surround yourself with others who can help enhance your skills and compensate for your weaknesses.

Don’t forget to have fun.

“Fun is one of the most important — and underrated — ingredients in any successful venture,” Richard Branson wrote in “The Virgin Way: Everything I Know About Leadership.” “If you’re not having fun, then it’s probably time to call it quits and try something else.”

Final Thoughts on How Entrepreneurs Keep From Losing Momentum

Of course, there are days when that doesn’t seem like the case. But, instead of harping on these setbacks, make being an entrepreneur as enjoyable as possible by trying out the following:

• Make the activities used to achieve your goals more fun, like using gamification, writing an “eff yeah” list, or creating a vision board.
• Change how you think by thinking more positively and developing a growth mindset. Gratification, reflection, and being in the present are great places to start.
• Give yourself a small reward after you’ve achieved a small goal.
• Delegate tasks that you either don’t enjoy or are not skilled at.

By doing so, you’ll be able to illustrate how entpreneurs keep from losing momentum.